Hi there lovely,
How are you? Just saying hello from a rainy Bali, the rain season has officially arrived, a welcome break from the heat! And a great time to sit down and write, a lot of work happening on this end and some exciting announcements coming your way soon again. Can’t wait to tell you…. Aaaah, patience!
So today wanted to write a little something about our ability to actually control our thoughts and how we experience life.
My days go up and down like a yo-yo sometimes. I can be totally on top of it all, feeling like I can and will conquer the world, plotting world domination of various kinds…. And the next, my mojo has gone AWOL, and self-doubt rears its ugly little head. You know that irritating voice in your head that says you can’t do this. Or maybe it’s that voice that keeps pushing you to go even further, despite the fact that you’re exhausted. Or the one that says you should give up because you’re not going to make it anyway, so why even bother…
When this happens, you can ask yourself the question, do I want to be this person, this version of myself that gives in to this voice? Am I going to allow myself to give up my power to a smaller version of myself?
Or do I want to play a bigger game? Do I want to say F*ck you (sorry mum) and go after what I really want to do? Why allow yourself to be dictated to by some lesser version of yourself? Who’s running the show here?
In the end, it’s all about making a decision: who do you want to be? Your choice.
I’m not saying it’s always easy, but with awareness, practice and some self-care and compassion, you can change your thoughts and beliefs and how you ultimately experience this world. Not so fast I hear you say? Well, this is the thing: our beliefs and thoughts shape how we perceive our lives and what we see around us. It’s that thing we call perspective, and that in turn drives our behavior. If I don’t believe I’m capable of doing something, do you think I will succeed? In short, our thoughts and beliefs shape our behavior, and that shapes our experience of life.
So the most important question is can we change our mind? Can we change the way we view the world around us? Can we create a more positive experience by choosing what we believe?
Yes, absolutely. There’s a ton of research out there that says that we are capable of changing our minds, even at a biological level. Does it mean everything will change overnight? Usually no, although if the motivation to change is big enough, it’s been done. Most times, it takes time and practice, and as you become more conscious and keep on practicing – things will absolutely change. It did for me. Now that’s not to say that I don’t have days when I’d rather have stayed in bed and go ostrich style, but they are a lot fewer and far between. Yes, I’m stretching beyond my boundaries, yes, I’m moving out of my comfort zone, and yes, it can be bloody uncomfortable. But is it worth it?
Absolutely, setting yourself free from the confines of your mind is freaking awesome – it’s pure freedom unlike anything else. Once you start learning to take control of your thoughts, essentially it means you take control of how you experience life. Just think about it, how would you feel if you believed that you could do anything that you set your mind to with effort and practice? What if your worst-case scenario didn’t come through, but in fact, your best-case scenario? Worth a shot? I think so….
Here are some practices for you to try out:
- Firstly, just notice and label what you are telling yourself. Becoming aware of what you tell yourself is one of the most important steps. On average, we have anywhere between 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day, and most of those, we aren’t even aware of. So noticing the thoughts that run through your head is also the most important step in actually being able to change them.
- Once you get more familiar with some of the stories you’re telling yourself, try to examine it a little further. What is really behind this voice? Is it trying to protect you from something? What are you actually really afraid of and maybe there’s an opportunity to address that?
- Start replacing the beliefs and thoughts that are not so positive with more empowering thoughts. Turn “I can’t do this” to an “I can do whatever I set my mind to with practice and effort”. The thing about beliefs is that they are just that: beliefs. We have somehow accepted them to be true, but there is no proof. So why not try a more positive and empowering belief – Try it on for size, wouldn’t a more positive belief set you up so much better?
- Break through your self-imposed boundaries, and think what you would do if you weren’t afraid? Or if you didn’t let self-doubt rule your life? What is the next step you would take…. And then take it! Making small changes will help build your confidence and reinforce the new belief that you are working on.
- Accept that some days you’re just going to be feeling a little blue or unmotivated. And that’s ok. Treat yourself with kindness. Think about how you would treat a friend if they were in the same position, and treat yourself with the same kindness. You’ll often find that if you accept your feelings just for what they are in the moment, it will be easier to pick up the next day where you left off.
Alright lovely, that’s all for today. Let me know if you have any questions, I know this is a big topic but oh so relevant for so many of us – present company included!
Hope you’re doing awesome, and we’ll be in touch again soon – with exciting news!
With love, xx