Hi there gorgeous, hope the weekend is off to a beautiful start for you. Received some great feedback on last time’s post (thank you, it’s so nice to hear from you!), seems this is a topic that people can really connect to. Purpose, passion, fulfillment, they are all big words that we can get our knickers all in a twist about. As discussed in “Finding your purpose, it’s so overrated!”, this finding your purpose thing can feel like searching for the holy grail. Essentially what it’s really about is becoming authentically you. (Sound familiar for those of you who participated in Your Life Journey?)
So where did you go? Where have you been hiding out?
Martha Beck describes this beautifully in her book “Finding Your North Star” as a process where we’ve been split between our essential self and the social self. The essential self is who we truly are, the unique authentic self with all of its own desires, dreams and passions, that knows what it wants and what it needs to do. The social self is that part of us that accommodates, that wants to meet others’ needs and expectations, and that has adapted itself to others. What happens to most of us over time is that the essential self gets covered up by the social self. Sometimes so much, that we’ve become so far removed from ourselves that we don’t know what we ourselves truly deeply desire and want for our lives.
Sometimes we just need a little reminder:
Your purpose is to be you.
As Joseph Campbell said,
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
But when we’ve covered ourselves in layers of expectations and needs of others, how would you expect to find your purpose in that situation?
By digging.
Digging deep.
How?
- By integrating different practices that help you to connect to yourself and hear your own voice. This could include meditation, journaling, walking in nature, exercising – you name it, it’s possible. Just ask yourself this question: when and how do I connect most to myself? When can I drown out the “noise”?
For me, it’s sitting up on the roof terrace early mornings meditating and scribbling away my thoughts in my journal.
What is it for you and how could you find ways of increasing that time for yourself? Again, this was a major theme in Your Life Journey that I did together with my soul sister coach Hanna. The material is still available if you’re interested, just shoot me an email: info@naomisaelens.com
- Be a kid, inquisitive and playful. Take on an open and adventurous mindset. Allow yourself time to explore and see what you have to offer, and what the world has to offer. Allow yourself to learn. Allow yourself to be the novice. Dream big, dream the seemingly impossible.
- Begin with the end in mind as Stephen Covey said so powerfully. This is a really big one and could warrant an entire blog post on its own (hmmm, there’s a thought!). Ask yourself: what do you want your life to be about? How do you want to show up as a person? How do you want to be remembered? What values are important to you? Read this article for a beautiful reminder of what really matters in the end.
- Finding your purpose (or multiple ones!) also usually involves some process of matching up your strengths and aptitudes with your passions, and finding the sweet spot between those. There are tons of books on this – I really liked Ken Robinson’s “Finding Your Element”, but there are many others as well. The basic questions to answer are:
– What natural talents do I have? What do people ask my help with? What comes so naturally to you that you don’t even think about it? What comes easiest to you? What feels awesome and is easy to give? What skills would I like to further develop?
– What do I love doing? When am I in flow? When do I lose all track of time? What have I always been passionately curious about? What makes me feel good and gives me tons of energy? What gives me joy?
- Try different things out. Experience will offer you so much more knowledge and insight than trying to think about it alone. By all means, read books, talk to people, and then, try it and see for yourself. Be an adventurer in your own life. Explore and find out.
- Ask yourself the question, how can I be of service to others? What would give meaning to me and to those around me? How can I use my talents and skills in the most meaningful way?
Just remember that this isn’t just a 10 step programme kind of road and vavoom, here it is – purpose on a dish! I have days that I think I’ve figured it all out and then, boom, something happens… and I, luckily often temporarily, lose the plot. It ain’t always pretty trust me, but it’s all part of the game.
It’s really about a slow and deliberate unfolding of who you truly are, and that takes time, space, and curiosity. Cultivate that open mind and spirit, and see what you can find out. And once you hear that voice inside, big or small, don’t be afraid to follow it and act on it – despite what you think others might feel. This is perhaps the biggest step of all, be courageous and follow your own path as that will truly be the way for you to become happy. And don’t forget, this isn’t about just getting to a final destination – enjoy the journey along the way.
Intrigued? Want to do more of this? Curious?
Awesome as I’ve got a new coaching spot opening up! I’d love to hear from you if you want to take things a little further, and want to do some digging together with me. I promise it will be fun, deep, reflective, sometimes confronting, nurturing and oh so good for the soul. You can get in touch here: info@naomisaelens.com
Know anyone else who’d benefit from reading this? I’d be so grateful if you could share this blog post! One of my main purposes for writing these posts in the way that I do is that I want to make personal development accessible and real for everyone – so it would make me super happy to know that I can reach more people!
It totally lights up my day to hear from you – have you gone on your own voyage of discovery? What works for you? How do you stay most connected to yourself? Drop me a line at info@naomisaelens.com or comment away!
Hope you have a lovely weekend!
With love,
Xx Naomi