That’s the word my client Laura chose after I asked her:
If you were guided by a word, what would it be?
This is a question that I’ve been known to ask people and I’ve had some amazing responses over the year. But this one really blew me away.
Why I asked her, what does this mean to you?
Because it reminds me that my worth is infinite.
My worth can’t be expressed in words or numerical values. When I know my worth is infinite, it helps me to stay deeply rooted within myself, to follow my intuition, to trust myself, to speak up and most importantly, to believe in myself and not sell myself short in any way.
I was stunned to hear these words from her. You see, when I first started working with Laura, she was a rather shy and withdrawn young woman with big ambitions. She lacked the confidence to put herself out there however. Tormented by an insistent inner critic, she would continuously doubt herself and was very hard on herself. This is what often happens when you doubt your own abilities. You believe that by being hard on yourself, you’ll just “get things done”.
Sound familiar at all?
It’s certainly one way of motivating yourself and sometimes it works. The cost is high however, harsh judgement is often followed by even more anxiety. So what Laura and I worked on was improving the relationship she had with herself through self-compassion and self-care practices. And guess what, this proved to be the fertile ground for her to grow her confidence over time.
So much so that she realised she was ready for her next career step. Now Laura is ambitious, she was already working in the international development field and she wanted a position that would give her even more influence. Through intense preparation from her side and support in how to present herself confidently and authentically from me, I’m incredibly proud to say that she got a new job at one of the leading foundations in the world.
You want to know one of the best parts?
One of the interviewers commented on how she had met Laura a few years ago and that she had developed into a calm, confident woman who really had something important to share with the world. Goosebumps right?
This wasn’t an overnight process, nor did this mean that Laura didn’t experience any self-doubt. One of the main things she realised was that it was ok to be scared.
Rather than seeing her self-doubt as something that needed to be “pushed away” or “fixed”, it was something in her that needed her love and attention. What mattered most was how she responded to herself. Rather than being her own worst critic, she became her own best supporter.
Most importantly, she knew deeply within herself that regardless of whether she got the job or not, her worth didn’t depend on it. And to me that was truly the biggest victory.
How would your life change if you treated yourself with love and compassion?
To infinity and beyond dear beautiful one!