The Sensitivity Rollercoaster: tips on managing sensitivity

Wow, my love, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I went back to Amsterdam, and sitting down to write just wasn’t on the programme. It was a much needed and much appreciated trip back home & mental break, and as I’m sitting on the plane back to Bali, I can’t think of a better moment to sit down and write you.

The past month has been a bit of a rollercoaster to say the least. From the lows of finding out that we got ripped off badly in Bali and not having a new home to return to, to friends in accidents, to crashing hard drives of laptops (yes, I cried in front of the Apple store) to the incredible highs of support received from friends in Bali, and coming back to the welcoming arms of our families and friends in Amsterdam and spending some major quality time in our home town.

And love, I wish I could tell you I went down that rollercoaster with my arms lifted up in the air, squealing with joy & excitement and enjoying the ride. Yay!

Erm, no….

Something closer to the truth was that some of it was awesome and some of it just wasn’t pretty.  And who said it had to be pretty anyway?!

My love B has the incredible natural capacity to see the bigger picture and stay positive. It’s amazing, it’s one of his traits that I’m most envious of. It’s also blooming annoying sometimes.  It shows me where I’m still lacking or rather in coach speak, where I can still grow. In other words, for me, being positive and seeing the bigger picture sometimes still takes deliberate action, it’s not something that always comes naturally to me and is not my first response.

I’m a bit of a sensitive soul. If you had somehow missed this point, I kindly refer you back to points 11 & 12 of this Little known facts post. For all you sensitive souls out there, read on.

Sensitivity allows you to experience the beauty of all that surrounds you at a deep level. It also means that you often experience life at a different intensity, including the proverbial shit. Your highs can be higher, and your lows lower.

While I used to think that I was a feather blown in all directions of the wind or acted as an emotional sponge for everyone else’s shit, I have also come to learn however that while you might be sensitive, even highly so, you can to a large degree control how you respond to these feelings and what you do with them.

And while I’m still learning each and every day, here are some thoughts on how to manage this sensitivity better:

• Stop comparing yourself to others and appreciate your sensitivity for the gift it is. (In fact, this doesn’t apply to just your sensitivity but pretty much every part of your life.) As a sensitive soul on this planet, how often have you heard “you’re too sensitive” or something to the same effect. You are sensitive and that’s ok. In fact, it’s more than ok. Know that it brings you an amazing ability to relate to others, to see what often goes unnoticed and to feel deeply, often resulting in beautiful creation.
• Accept your feelings, they are part of you. Trying to suppress things, just doesn’t work. It comes back bigger and stronger, and out of your control. Running away from anything in life is generally a crap strategy. Feelings actually generally only last anywhere between 30 seconds to 1.5 minute. Seriously? Yep. It’s the stories we build about those feelings that make them last a lot longer. “I’m really upset about this, but I think I shouldn’t be.” suppresses the actual feeling, give it far more power and energy than if you can accept the feeling and let it flow away.
• Do not take responsibility for other people’s feelings. Empathy is a beautiful thing, but it also needs to come with setting certain boundaries for yourself and others. Being sensitive often means that you are more connected to other people’s feelings, but this doesn’t mean that you are responsible for them. Maintaining healthy boundaries is paramount
• Create space to nourish yourself. Sensitivity means that you are likely to take in your external environment at a much more intense level than others and you will often need time and space for yourself to re-calibrate. This can include time meditating, journaling, reading, sleeping, cocooning in your home. Be ok with claiming that space for yourself so you re-energise and can show up to the world in the best way possible. And no, this is not selfish. It’s called self-care and we’re digging it. If we can’t take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others?
• Gratitude is an attitude. A different perspective is a choice. While we can’t control everything that happens in our lives (and why would we want to?), we are 100% responsible for our own lives and how we see things. A great way of changing your perspective is focusing on gratitude. Each and every day write down 3 things that you are grateful for. It can be anything from the sun is shining today, to being happy that you’ve got your health, to wowsa, I got a new car! Or focus your attention on someone else and ask how you can be of service to them. Big or small, it doesn’t matter, just focus on the positive and you will see how your experience changes.
• Get out of the vortex and change your emotional state by doing some exercise, this can be as simple as going for a walk or a bicycle ride, or using techniques like EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, which uses tapping on meridian points to process emotions that you may be experiencing. This is not to deny any of the feelings that you may be having, but can help to get you out of a state of overload and help you process your emotions more effectively. I

This all takes continuous practice and commitment, but know that there really are ways to deal with your emotions and feelings in a more effective way, so that you’re the one calling the shots and not the other way around. And that, my dear, is a great feeling!

As I’m sitting here on the plane returning to Bali, more than anything else, I feel so grateful and rich for having the friends and family that I do – on all sides of the planet. Home really is where the heart is, and for me, that’s independent of where I find myself on the planet. Grateful that I have the ability to travel and experience life in different locations, knowing that I will always find home.

Always love hearing from you, send me a note at info@naomisaelens.com, leave a comment below, or just come and say hi!

With love,

Naomi